you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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