Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize