Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
