I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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