hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
