I am in a vortex of obligation.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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