As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
