I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
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