Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
