I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
