If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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