Is it normal to miss your booty call?
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
