Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
