1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
