Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
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