Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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