Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
