I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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