If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize