Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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