Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
