I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
