There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
