White coat. Heels.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
