He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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