If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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