Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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