Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
