We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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