Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's blow job season.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
