totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
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