dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
