she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
