I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
