Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
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She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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