real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
