He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i barfeds in our rink
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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