margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
