If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
