I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
