Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
