No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
