This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
