Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
