How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
