why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
