But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Drunk walkin through police station. America
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
