Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
