This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
