note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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