Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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