I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
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You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
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so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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