god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
