Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
tell me about the fingering
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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