Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
