you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
