i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
