I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
