Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
