I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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