her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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