I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
its not stalking. its research.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
