So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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