I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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