I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
not ubering you a puppy
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
