I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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