I'm going to jail i love you
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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