I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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