Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Boobs are out for the taking
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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