just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
